Crude Sex Jokes VI

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A. He didn't have any arms.

Q. What's the definition of eternity?
A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.

Q. What's gray, sits at the bed and takes the piss?
A. A kidney dialysis machine.

Q. What do you call a female police officer that shaves her pubic hair?
A. Cunt Stubble.

Q. Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Q. What goes: "CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it?"
A. A blind person with a rubix cube.

Q. Why did God invent yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.

Q. Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
A. They went outside to exchange blows.

Q. Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A. He came home shit faced.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a flea?
A. An itchy cock.

Q. Why is a Laundromat a bad place for a guy to pick up women?
A. Women who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Q. Why are roach clips called roach clips?
A. Because "pot holder" was already taken.

Q. What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
A. The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm...

Q. Why do women have arms?
A. Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?

Q. Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q. What's the bad news about being a test tube baby?
A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker.

Q. How are men like noodles?
A. They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Q. Why don't Canadians have group sex?
A. Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.

Q. Why are hangovers better than women?
A. Hangovers will go away.

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. What's the difference between a 'Spice Girls' video and a porn video?
A. The porn video has better music!

Q. What's the best part of having a homeless girlfriend?
A. You can drop her off where ever you want!

Q. What is the difference between Iraq's air force and the United States' Air Force?
A. The U.S. pilots break ground and fly into the wind.

Q. What is the difference between growing old and growing up?
A. Growing old is mandatory.